Bosses should be required to take extra vacation...

Someone left "Isn't She Lovely" on my voicemail today. It's the little things y'all. Definitely needed a pick me up since I have had the increasing urge all day to strangle my boss. Of course I'd never... Then again, she better not let me catch her slippin...

It's all pretty ironic though that she unknowingly picks the week that I'm chewing on a job offer to go all postal. Lucky for her, I now have more reasons to stay than leave. Unlucky for her though, I've now got my mind set on somewhere else. And when I let my mind wander off into elaborate visions of what might one day be, I let out a deep sigh...cause nothing else even matters. I'm good. Life is good. :)

It's really quite amazing y'all. I'm fighting a bladder infection- which means no alcohol, my boss is a sociopath, and my apartment is a wreck and I'm going out of town in two days! BUT, I'm happy. I'm calm. I am pretty relaxed. Tomorrow might suck, but today...today is a great day.

"I got one question for ya. Is you happy?" - T.I. King of the South

Me too, girl in green dress. Me too...

I'm so happy. I wish I had more time to tell you all about what's got me feeling this way. But I kinda don't, lol. My calendar is so incredibly full for the month of November- I'm out of state 3 weekends in a row and still adding crap. But I'm happy. For the first time, I'm not stalking job sites in other cities and states (...well one, lol. But that's another story for another day (-; ). I'm good where I'm at. Life has sped up to a comfortably exciting pace and a new adventure has me feeling...things I've never felt before- more peace and calm than I ever thought I'd have.

Trust me, the irony of this type of post on this blog has not missed me. But fortunately for your entertainment, this is real life and real life is not perfect. So, I'm sure I'll have some dramatic tale about something dramatically annoying for you shortly. But, I'm no rush for that. Instead, right now I'm going to throw myself headfirst into the joy that I'm feeling. Soak up every ounce of happiness. *deep sigh* Life is short. Too short to wait for happiness that's readily available to you today.

Happy Friday! Whatever makes you happy, go do it. Whoever makes you happy, go do them. hehehe, I'm so naughty. :)

XOXO

What are you waiting for???

I have three posts sitting in the queue right now. They consist of battle cries, lamentations, and conspiracy theories. But you know what? Just reading through them made me so completely tired. And I'm so tired of being tired. You would be tired too if you carried a chip the size of Montana on your shoulder. I've been screaming at life about how unfair and loathsome it is to no avail. It remains silent. Time keeps ticking. I keep aging. And then I remembered...life doesn't owe me anything. It's made no promises. It has no obligations. I'm just lucky to simply have it. Now that doesn't mean that I just accept it for what it is, be grateful for my lot, and just continue being mediocre. It just means that I have to recognize that my life is happening right NOW. This is it. Literally. This is what life is. I can seize every opportunity, fill each moment with productivity; or I can quit my job, go lay in a field, and dream the rest of it away. No matter what I do, it will be a choice. My choice. Yes, things will happen to me. But I will choose how to respond.

For example- I could get off of work this afternoon, go home, and pile up on my couch in front of the TV... watch The Daily Show, the Colbert Report, a couple episodes of Law & Order SVU and then snap back to life in order to continue sitting on the couch and watch Grey's Anatomy. Or, I can enjoy this near perfect weather and go take a walk and enjoy the breeze. After a nice long shower and a light dinner, Grey's Anatomy will be far more enjoyable...and so will my life.

Here's to the start of what I hope will be a long and wondrous adventure in enjoying my life.

XOXO

Why make my life easier when I'm so good at making it hard?

Here's hoping to avoid a repeat of 2001...

So, I'm finally getting a Texas license. :( . After being here almost 2 years, I'm finally getting one for what I hoped would be my last 6 months in this wretched State. Seriously? Wanna know what's even better? I now have to take the written driver's test since I let my current DL expire. Did you know that if I had of just gotten a TX DL in the first place, they would have just let me switch the darn thing over? Period. Now I have to wait for my mom to fax me my birth certificate, schedule a testing time, and possibly brush up on my knowledge of Texas roads- cause trust me, there ain't nothing more crazy than Texas law!

Anyway, I could blame Texas. I could blame my BFF's wedding since I was supposed to get it renewed that same weekend but due to lack of sleep and constant activity it totally slipped my mind. I could blame gas and distance since it's too far for me to just drive home and get it renewed. I could also blame the cops for possibly wanting to check the damn thing between now and Christmas.

But I would be wrong. By all counts. The fault is mine and mine alone.

*deep sigh* Oh well. Maybe I can get my co-worker's 17 year old daughter to tutor me.

A "Prodigal" experience

Yeah, He created it...But He didn't intend for it to solve ALL of our problems...

Sooooooo, this weekend was muy muy interesante... I told you in my previous post that I was out on a ledge. Well, this weekend after a sort of major/minor blowup with my mom, a baby shower invitation, and just a bad case of the imtwentysixwhatamidoingwithmylife, I was pretty much head first out the window watching the ground run to meet my face. Every now and then I'd start a thought with, oh Lord, and then I'd remember that I was no longer speaking to Jesus. I even went to the bar...alone. It wasn't so bad actually except that this is East Texas so instead of getting to drown my sorrows in my cucumber martini with the rest of the lowly drunks, I had to watch some random game with a band of raging lunatics that some people might refer to as children. Cause for some reason, parents here think it's entertaining to request seating for them and their kids at the bar.

After the Love is Gone

"Something happened along the way" that made this moment absolutely necessary

Our office conducted it's first interview today to replace my old roomie. As I sat and listened to the overenthusiastic candidate go on and on about the joys of pushing paper over the faint musical stylings of Earth Wind and Fire streaming from my speakers, and I after I called bullshit on about 14 of her 16 answers, I realized that the time to make amends with my current profession had come and gone.

musings...

My problem has always been lack of focus. I have so many interests, so many ideas... I've always relied on the people closest to me to make decisions for me since I couldn't do it for myself. And when they refused, I pretty much did the equivalent of flipping a coin to make my choice. In doing that though, I've done myself such a disservice. I look back on things I wanted to do but didn't, opportunities that I wanted to take but passed over... all because I couldn't make a definitive choice about what I wanted to do.

It's no one's fault but my own.  When you let others make decisions for you and you make decisions for the wrong reasons, you're forced to play the hand you're dealt. I don't have a bad life by any means. But, I'm not satisfied.  I have so many dreams that haven't been nurtured. So much potential that hasn't been realized...

That all ends now though. I saw a quote the other day that said a "choice not made is still a choice."  I don't really have anything deep to say about that. You get to a point where there are no more words, only actions. I'm at the point.

*drops the mic*

...speaks for itself...

I've had to make some really tough decisions in my life. They were the kind that I dreaded making, the kind for which I ran every possible scenario through my head before making them. I prayed about them, sought counsel on them... I worried and stressed about these decisions and their consequences until everything that had to do with them had resolved itself or just simply blown ever.

On the other hand, I've had to make choices that took a split second to decide. Sure, I probably had to drink think my way through them. But the process wasn't nearly as long or painstaking as those mentioned above. As a matter of fact, the result of these decisions was downright liberation. I can't say that all these decisions could be considered the best thing that ever happened to me, but I can truly say that when it came time to make those choices, I didn't have any reservations or regrets. Below, I shall describe one of my most memorable moments.

The Happening...



Pretend those colorful figures in the background are dinosaurs with babies.

 Last night, DinoBFF and I talked about love, life, and...babies. Like a brick, she hit me with the news that she just might be pregnant. *insert pregnant pause*. This disturbed me on many levels. For one, I'm thinking- DUDE!!! You JUST got married! You guys don't even have cable yet but you're gonna have a baby?!. Then, I thought about the fact that a baby meant more co-planning of showers, sip-and-sees, and contrived conversations with her little dinosaur friends. I'm still recovering from our last gathering.