Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Because I was thinking...

I haven't been here in a very long while.  And I didn't plan on coming here today at all... But, I left my devotional journal at home and FB is not really my first choice for confession, so, well... here I am.

Hi.

Fact of the day: I have no idea what my "calling" is.  Meanwhile, I see so many of my friends fully becoming who they were created to be.  Some have natural abilities like singing, songwriting, art...  Some are incredible athletes.  Some of them with their exuberant and assertive personalities (along with killer looks), coupled with law degrees and PhDs are certain to be future political leaders of America.

And then there's me.  I have no notable talents.  I can hold a note, but I'm no soloist.  I was a high school cheerleader but Mississippi doesn't have a professional sport's team and I don't think I'd make the Dallas Cowboy's cheerleader cut.  I am introverted and easily exhausted by interactions with others.  I won't scare small children in the morning, but I'm no model. I am passionate yet impatient, loving yet fickle.  I am led almost exclusively by my emotions, much to my detriment.

But, BUT, thank God there is a BUT.  I am generous. I am genuine.  I am thoughtful- in that I am a deep thinker.  I am tolerant in the most unexpected circumstances.  I am patient with the most undeserving.  My life is held together by God's grace alone.  I am honest, painfully so, in my self reflection.  I am unnervingly transparent.

I am me. And with every passing moment of reflection and revelation, I become more me.  And because I believe that life is a conscious, on-purpose, act of God, I know that He is using me. Somehow, someway, I am making a difference.  I don't know how. I don't know when. But every breath that I breathe is confirmation that I have either accomplished or am on my way to accomplishing some unique and necessary task that He assigned specifically to me.