musings: "Home"

My home- so close and yet so far away...

Hello Home,
It's been a while
since I've felt your sun and seen your smile.


I've missed you, Home.
Have you missed me?
I dream about your sky
I still smell your sea
I feel your grass beneath my feet
        and every blade between my toes
        I taste your air in through my nose
Your misty gaze envelopes me...


What happened, Home
Where is my rest?
I came to lay my head
But you've moved my bed
and all our pictures from our room
       only space remains
       and weathered paint
Now there rests a couch instead...


Oh dear Home
How quickly you've changed!
Is it just me
Do you not think your speed strange?!
Can you not wait
      til I've planted some roots
      swallowed this cold truth
I feel so displaced...


Ok Home.
I understand.
I must leave your house
Cleave to another man...
But in the interim
Until I've found that place
Am I not welcome at all in your space?
This purgatory land I'm in
I feel I've been cast out for some great sin
       I fear I'll sink in this quicksand
       I'm reaching blindly for a hand
But thanks to you I have thick skin
I suck it up
I hold it in...


Home sweet home,
I have no malice with you.
This is just the beginning,
What we all must go through.
But I'll play ball
      My bags are packed
      I'll pray along the way for what I lack
      I'll lay my dreams like bricks in stacks
      leave blessings for others in my tracks...
And eventually I'll find wherever my journey ends
That you are there with me just as you were when I began.
And then no longer will I be afraid
I shall be brave
      I'll cast my net into the deep
      I'll only glance before I leap
      And breathe one quick sigh of relief


     Because I'll know that Home shall be wherever the fates land my feet.


-by me, just now-